My birthday is on June 13th. Ironically, it’s written numerically as 13/06 in Vietnamese, and 6 (Sáu) is also how we say “Friday” – Thứ Sáu. To other it might look like a not-so-lucky day to be born, but I absolutely love it. It’s a tad strange, it’s quirky, it’s unlike everyone else’s.

This birthday, I thought it would be fun to jot down 10 things I’ve learnt so far, in life. Perhaps one day Nem and Bun would come across this and they’d get an idea of what’s going on in their mommy’s head in her 30s 🙂

1. Be humble. Be kind. Be nice.

You never know if someone’s having a rough day, and a small act of kindness goes a long way. A compliment, though strange in my culture because it can be perceived as sycophantic, can brighten another person’s day if you truly mean it. Also, never brag about yourself, humility is key. (Seriously, I think I’ve never used the phrase “not to brag but…”).

2. You cannot change others. Period.

Don’t even think there is one single person on earth that you can change over time. It never works. Not even with your husband, your parents, your children. The only one you are capable of changing is yourself. If there is something about someone close to you that you can’t live with, don’t try to change it, choose to walk away instead.

3. Reading changes your life.

Be a bookworm. Read as much and as often as you can. Make it a habit. You can’t imagine the worlds books bring you. Even better, find a partner who also reads, and discuss what you’ve read. You sure will want to talk about what you’ve read if the books have significant impact on you.

4. Work hard.

It’s okay if you are not smart. You just need to work harder than the smart ones to get to where they are. It is challenging, but don’t give up. Work hard on everything you do, and do it properly, because literally noone else will do your thing for you.

5. Curl your tongue seven times before speaking.

This way you’ll have time to think if you ought to say the things you want to say. Most of the time these things will hurt the person to whom you are speaking. This is one of my favorite Vietnamese old saying. I do practice it, and it works magic. Trust me.

6. One creative thing a day.

You don’t need to be super creative, or artistic. There will always be some forms of art out there that you can do, whether it is coloring, arts and crafts, quilting, embroidery, origami, the list goes on. Adding a tiny bit of creative activity to your daily schedule, you will see it’s a nice break from everything else. It’s your me time, after all.

7. Family first.

You will never know how much your parents love you until you are a parent. They are the only ones who will go the extra mile for you, under all circumstances. Your siblings, your extended family, your partner in life, they are a network of people who mean the most to you. Devote to them, support them when you can without asking them to give back.

8. Learn to grow a plant, or two, or hundreds.

If you know me, you know my love for plants. By taking care of plants and watching them grow, listening and paying attention to know when they are happy or not, it’s taught me so much about caring for other human beings. I don’t believe in the idea of black thumbs or green thumbs, I believe everyone can enjoy growing a plant, and receive the happiness it brings.

9. Think outside the box.

This one is a classic, and it’s never been wrong! Be creative, don’t be afraid to try a new idea! It’s better than worrying if you would fail and end up not trying. And what if your idea fails? It’s okay because you can learn a lesson or two from your failures, stand up and try again.

10. Love yourself.

Always remember to love and be gentle to your own self first. Then, you can love and care for others. Especially when you are a parent, take a really good care of you, then you’ll be able to care for your children.