It’s May again, our wedding anniversary month💞6 years and growing strong. Once in a while we’d look back at us in the past and give ourselves a pat on the back because of how much we have grown. Throughout the years, I have collected a bundle of marriage advices that make the most sense to me (maybe for Jon too?😂). Below are some of them:

Never go to bed angry. This was actually an advice in the wedding shower Jon’s colleagues at TCC throwed for him. We stay friends with some of them until now. It’s extremely hard not to go to bad angry when you’re…angry. Probably the point is, not to get angry?

Make time for two as a couple, but also plan for some personal time. It’s all about carrying for your mental health. Date nights are still crucial! Flowers too, please!

A pet before having children. The equivalence of moving in together before getting married. Raising a pet is nothing different from raising a baby. True experience.

Understand that arguing is healthy, when done fairly. Or as Jon would say – discuss, not argue, while keeping in mind that we are on the same team, and “I’m not your enemy” (seriously I sometimes let my mind run wild and I question why would he did/said/thought that, only my enemy would do that to me!). I can’t stress how important, yes, very difficult, but at most important to practice discussing (softly, in peace) and communicating in our daily lives.

Co-create our own culture. This is very fun to do! Especially with kids, we try to have our own tradition, for two, and for the four of us. Things we will treasure as memory keepsake wherever life sends us.

Commitment. This is a choice, a personal choice, to hang in there when it gets tough and to work together to make things better. Whether it is when your kid has a meltdown, or the company you build together hits a break, or it’s just a very bad day.

Love each other’s family as yours. This one I surely learnt from my parents by watching mom taking care of dad’s family while he travelled for work, not only sick grandma but also the external family, everyone around her; and dad writing letter to his mother-in-law from abroad, being there during her last moments of life when mom couldn’t.

There are many, many more. Perhaps it’s time to read “How to be an Adult in Relationships” by David Richo!