In “Tribe of Mentors”, there are many useful advices on how to say no. It seems like an easy thing to do, but actually it’s very challenging to be able to say no. It’s also ironic because Haruki’s first word is “No”, and we’ve been hearing lots of “no, no, no” from him so far. However, as a grown-up, saying no is not as easy as you don’t want to upset, disappoint others, or to create conflicts. Keeping that in mind, here’s a reminder to self of when to say no:

If I feel uncomfortable. Needless to say, trust your gut. If there’s a hint that doing this will make you uncomfortable, that’s a clear hint to say no.

When I’m overloaded. Not just with work, but also with your personal life, kids, families, etc. Life is short so let’s try to use your limited time in a day as best as possible. If you need to take some time to de-stress, or to spend for yourselves, don’t add another task to your already full plate.

When it crosses your boundary. Remember, you have your set boundaries, and they are very much worth standing up for. Setting a personal boundary essentially means saying, “This is what I’m okay with, and this is what I’m not okay with”. Once these boundaries are set, follow them.

So, practice saying no. Knowing when to say no takes time and practice. The more often you say no, the easier it will become. Practice assertiveness in all areas of your life until it becomes a habit.