Finally a place to scramble my thoughts, to write freely, and to capture many journeys in our life.

I originally wanted a place to capture our fertility treatment journey. Hopefully this is the start of something new, something beautiful, something we have been both longing for.

September 12. We had our first appointment with Dr. Daniel Stein at RMA today. Despite some negative reviews we had read online, he was extremely friendly and nice, and explained things in such an easy way for us to understand. He drew a nice visual chart for us to understand how things are categorized: Miscarriages have unknown and known causes. Known causes include treatable and non-treatable causes. So basically our story is:
We are both in good shape. I don’t technically qualified as “recurrent miscarriages”, because of one ectopic pregnancy and two chemical pregnancies, but we will go through the comprehensive testing anyway to see why I can’t keep the baby. Jon’s semen analysis is perfect. I have done certain tests that need to be done (blood panel, chromosome, and a painful HSG scan), revealing no causes so far. Long story short, we cannot tell anything yet. Where do we go from here? First, many more tests to come – chromosome testing for Jon, more blood work, a SIS scan). When all the results are ready, we will meet with Dr. Stein again to discuss the result and figure out which treatment is the best for us.

September 24. I’m back from the doctor’s office with a head full of information that yet to be digested. Long story short, we have done a total of 25 tests (19 for me, 6 for Jon), and they all come back okay. This means Good – nothing’s wrong or needs to be fix, and at the same time Meh – no cause can be detected. In other words, we still have no clue why my miscarriages occurred. However, my doctor did mention 50% of the cases came back with everything normal, and that indicates the previous miscarriages are highly due to chromosome abnormality (and our body is smart enough to detect the abnormality thus refuses to develop the baby). So, that leads us to either Do Nothing or IVF. By “do nothing” I mean keep trying to conceive naturally, maybe the next time we will be lucky. Sadly, up to this point, I am (and I’m sure Jon is also) emotionally exhausted and too scared of losses. So I came back with all the information I need to know about IVF for our consideration. Try not to keep our hopes up, but also need to be positive?! (life is so hard!). The good thing is, we have time to discuss and think about it. Take things slow.

That’s it for my very first blog. When time allows, I will write more about the miscarriage hell that I’ve been through. I’m thankful for my husband, family and friends who support me unconditionally and help me go back to who I am today.